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Sunday, December 27, 2009

7 days & counting......

Well, I have 7 days left until I go back to work. Boo! Am I looking forward to going back to work you ask. Honestly, no, not really. I am nervous about starting at 2 new schools half way through the year, having to learn the ropes of the schools and work styles/ethics of my co-workers. I don’t know what kind of mess my cases will be left in, if any mess at all (I hope there are no messes!!!!) I'm also not looking forward to starting/figuring out a new schedule/routine for home now that I am at work. This I think is going to be difficult.

Would I rather be a stay-at-home mom you ask? The answer to that question is YES!!!! I have really enjoyed the 5 months I have had with Syler and I would love to spend the next 3-5 years (until he goes to school) at home with him. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but like many other families out there, financially we cannot afford for me to stay home.

Do I feel guilty about going back to work? Yes, I do feel guilty. But, I need to keep reminding myself that Syler will be in good hands, and that Miguel and Maria, Miguel’s godmother, will take good care of him. I know its going to be REALLY hard to walk out the front door on Monday, but I will have to stay strong (I will only try to cry on my way to work and not throughout the whole day), and knowing that Syler will be waiting for me with a BIG smile on his face for when I come home will make it a little easier to get through the day. Maybe by the time we have a second child I will be able to stay home… Fingers crossed.

4 comments:

Elaine and Brandon Carder said...

I can imagine how hard Monday will be and I think there is no way to fully prepare yourself except to do what you are doing in knowing that he will be in capable hands of people who truly love him.

I have had people ask me if I was going to stay at home and have answered that financially it is not an option for us. I wish I could do part time, maybe 3 days a week.

Perhaps by the time the next lil one comes along you can be a stay at home or work part time. Until then I wish you lots of fun memories over the next few days!!!!

Meghan said...

I know how hard this transition can be. You will find a new routine and Syler's smile at the end of the day will help make it a bit easier. Enjoy your 7 days!

Kristeen said...

Good luck!! I'll be thinking about you... I'm going back on Monday too after only 9 weeks and I'm absolutely dreading it. I'm looking forward to being back at work but I'm not looking forward to dropping Carter off and leaving him. I figure I work in an office full of counselors though, so if I have to cry, they should understand. I hope it goes well for you!!

Elaine and Brandon Carder said...

Too bad we all don't live closer to one another and then one person could stay at home and watch our babies.

I will only get to stay home 12 weeks which I still feel is a good amount of time compared to some people who only get 6-8.